my hair sucks today. i think it was rachel and jinjie- especially jinjie- who jinxed it after saying my hair looks tamer. cos it sucks today. right. i mentioned that.

im getting incredibly sick of grad night prep and all excitement for it has totally fizzled. thinking abt the amount of money it involves is quite depressing especially when it comes from my own bank account. today im gg to call up the tutees and as of first week of december im going to start tutoring. after the family holiday im gonna start looking for a job. and if by post mid-dec no schools have gotten back to me it only means that they wont. im picky when it comes to jobs unfortunately. its a 6 mth commitment and i dun think i wanna take up any cafe stints. retail perhaps but i dunno. random office jobs? blah. well. at least i've done up my resume.

back to grad night. it was and is a long and laborious process trying to look for the outfit for that night. and im lucky ppl like de sisterhood and de boy are willing to go through that nonsense with me.

sucks like hell and i feel like auctioning away my ticket. plus dun think im doing anything to my hair. it will remain black and wavy at de wrong places.

2 days of grad night shopping and i spent 20bucks on random food. u need these kinda things to perk u up.

argh.

right. goodbye world.

p/s: ooohh yes please fiona :)

bought this loreal spray thing for hot curler and hey it works! experimented with it today and all. but its such a hassle curling hair before gg out. end product: partially curled hair. so next i shall invest in de straightening version.

yesterday was such a long and tiring day i swear. went for hockey. gulps. further reinforcement on my poor physical condition. de run was okay. just okay. not good. hahhaha. okay in a bad way. refused to participate in de sprints. and..... me and raf walked all de way back to school from ecp while de kiddos ran. hahaha. a lot of slacking on our part. ended off with a short game. maaak. pancit. but quite fun/funny. merafjasonsex vs 4 J1s. haha! ended with a long lunch with them opposite. ah yes interesting conversations amongst de 4 of us.

den was day out with de boy. supposed to slack at ecp but it rained cats, dogs and monkeys. ended up everywhere but doing nothing. ooh! we went to de arcade! and i think i suck at arcade games. which is sadddd. cos i cant be the macho gf who is just as good at those shooting games. HAHA

todaaaay. met lp for a bit. didn take up that expo stint. no basic salary purely based on commissions. bah. den was out with miss rafidah. basically she shopped, i windowshopped. and im so proud of myself for resisting de temptation to but tops which i want but dun particularly need. yeay! hehehe. had funnnn. and she bought a pretty shoe (which i will help her market online cos she may nv wear it again).

tonight i shall watch tv. and ohhh. believe it or not. i think im hooked on hikmah (on suria- some indon soap).

goodbye world!!

my atmosphere and climate had always sucked but.. if im not wrong el nino shifts the jet streams blablabla and best of all, reverse the effects of the monsoon right???? cos i dun want it to rain :( wanna swiimmmmmm. yesterday it rained. and today at this moment, de sky looks greyyyyy. sobs.

may go for trg tmr. ok scratch de may. make it WILL. but it will suck if it rains. nv liked wet weather trgs. cos we'll run and run and run and run and its seems never ending. such a mental game. of cos then we had the physical capacity to run and run and run and run. hahahah. another reason why it shouldn rain: i wanna go ecp. can? i wanna go there and do nothing de bf. can? *coughs*andtakepictures*coughs*

nyehnyehnyeh i get so excited on dismount days.

dumtidum there are so many ppl i wanna see but i realised i haven been making plans to see them. hahhaha. sucks. but really man im enjoying this stay-at-home-and-be-a-pig thing. all we need is endless supply of junk food and good reads.

stayed up de whole night surfing and reading. til 0530h. whoop!
amazingly though i was never that fresh for so long when it came to studying,

studying. that word ought to be banished from our vocab for sometime. til de need arises again. there was soooo much of studying pre-As, the word seems to carry some vile connotations.

i need to end this dormancy. aka, run, crunch, pump. if i start now would it make a difference by grad night? i wanna blade, cycle, swim, kayak, trek, go ubin, play badminton (haha), hockey blablablabla.

oh. too bad december breaks no parade.  HAHA.
okaylah, a bit (emphasize on A BIT) miss gg down to cedar for trgs. although they're quite self-sufficient most of the time but its quite comforting to be aware of their progress and blablabla. anyway its so silly. i've always remembered having trgs even during school hols. pfft.

wah de weather is so shiok i feel like sleeping.

i'm a true slacker at heart.

btw saccharinestory, i heard ur public. hehehe.

nth smart to update on. nth philosophical to ponder upon.

but just this: i love doing nothing. truly. best feeling ever. which is why think i would enjoy de holiday. beach holiday= doing nothing. best.

ok dah.

btw i still dun like u. hoho.
can i tell u that? please can i tell u that?
idunlikeyouidunlikeyouidunlikeyou.

right.ok.enough.stop it already.grow up girl.

good bye world!!

thats a silly word to begin with. what gives anyone the right to be exclusive? and who decides if you are exclusive? well i guess only the exclusive ones do. well brilliant for them as they can remain in their own tiny little world and enjoy their exclusivity.

so there. part 1 of rant. i'm not exactly pissed at anyone. and its definitely nothing personal so it'd be great noone takes it personally. its just a general view on things. and that im entitled to right?

so i ask. whats the point of being somewhere when u know, it wouldn make a difference whether or not ur there? perhaps i shouldn even be documenting this down now but well yeah it hit me all over again after just now. imagine a party. pictures snapped during this very party. of everyone and anyone (but of course first they must be within the circle of exclusivity or they dont qualify as everyone nor anyone). so if u dun find urs there my love, it means only one thing. u dont have to be there. and it doesnt matter at all that ur there. so next time, a piece of advice: dont bother being there. cos its just not worth it.

gone on for so long and sometimes all u can do is to swallow it down no matter how it might irritate ur throat. once in a while enjoy a bit of strepsil to ease the irritation. but u know. too much of any drug leads to immunity. what happens then?

hell u tell me. small issues. but could possible be magnified in time to come. because honestly, its not that small. its about acceptance. and truly, it doesnt help that some time, long, long ago u were aware that certain parties thought u were but simply taking advantage and perhaps didn mean anything more.

chronicles of her life. through her eyes.

aww man. fuck it.

the end babeh. this is for real. waaaahhh.. feel so tired sia. dunno why. but this incredible sense of lethargy. and it started after the call to shappa last night!! hahaha. nono its not her.

i miss some ppl soooo much i think! cant wait for next sat. hope it happens.

ah bought a pair of slippers and im happieee. yeay for de daddy who had a 10dollars voucher. yeay for compass point. de bf dun think its nice but i think its not bad la. and de more i look at it the nicer it gets. but still devastated over de one at dmk which didn come in my size. pfft. the mad/freak side of me feels like scouting dmk outlets to find one in my size.

i need/want shoeeesssss. its baackkk. shoe-mania is baackkk. i used to have sooo many slippers/sandals it was fun. and one by one they disintegrated.

and although i have already got myself a pretty pair of slippers, i think... i need more!!

1. another pretty flats
2. a normal CHEAP beach flip-flops
3. a pair of mini-heels (that black one. THAT black one)
4. another pair of heels (a fun one)
5. a pair of pretty girly shoes
6. sneakers

ok dah.

ah yesss.

also wants:
1. a new skirt thanks
2. many many many tops
3. sigh, prom dress
4. bronze powder-y stuff
5. cranberry lip glitter thing from body shop
6. A JOB

thinking about camp pinn. shappa gg. zairian gg. should be qutie fun. sumore its a slack camp. but thinking about donning on the uniform after a looooong time is a bit disgusting, and now that the hair is longer.... need to bun it up. nyeh. leceh. and camp pinn is.... 5 days. eek.

ok thats that. this time its really sill rambles,.

oh btw geog s sucked.

its always like this pre-geog. so i've come to the conclusion that i suck. period. and this time i have no excuse cos technically i had an entire 1 week to mug for tmr's paper. but i didn. thus i suck. and its 11 but im still at economic geog (quite stupid since i dun even dare writing economic geog essays at a levels what makes me think i'd consider it for special level). gonna try covering population geog by tonight at the very least. forget urban. and tmr will cram climate (only the climate change part) and hydro and fluvial. i will be screwed if climate change or fluvial doesn come out. or a good population question. entirely banking on pop and fluvial as usual and at least one abstract. or please let the abstract questions be doable. when all else fails, abstract saves one's life.

enough academic banters. tmr is it. THE REAL END. and im gonna make myself happy by making sure i get myself a pair of shoes/flats. dun even mind shopping alone. compass point here i come!!!

edit//

miss farah nadia. must i emphasize that im a shAik mohd shafiee and not a shEik mohd shafiee? i think u miss someone too much. hurhurhur.

but thanks all de same!

just woke up after a good nap. nothing beats a nap on a damn full tummy. but then again the feeling when u wake up sucks pretty much.

wah ate so much i think i can die. and my poor lil tummy looks like its gonna explode any moment. yuckyuckyuck.

anw.

hello there's someone who i miss perpetually all the time its madness. maaaaad-ness. sometimes u jusssttt cannoooot get enough of a person. and it drives me insaaaanneee. banish the horrible conscription of young men. please. (ok not gonna happen is it)

hoho. this is interesting i thought. an intellectual property of sanguinebeing.

haha i thought thats pretty sweet. although the naik pelamin part is... hahaha. a bit to crazy to mention at this stage. (although i want a bay-beeeee. ok dun mind that one. only sham would understand right shaaaammmm. cos she also wants a bay-beeee.)

"Speaking of kahwin.. and love.....
I wish my dearest Fard and Fadz Happy 2nd Anniversary. Two lucky souls to have met each other. Cherish everything that both of you have. Fard and Fadz, be nice to each other. I don't want to resort to having to take sides. Lol. Cepaaaaaaaaaaat...... aku nak tengok korang naik pelamin....... Nampak2 nyer, korang naik dulu la....... "

alrighty. am finally up and awake at this hour. was so tired for some reason all i wanted was sleep and more sleep.

22nds are special dates on the calender, even more so is the 22nd of november. 2 entire years. partially surreal cos its like wow.. 2 years. partially not cos this inner part of you had always believed it would last. whichever, both ways, its a happy day and we had our happy moments yesterday. my first bouquet (from a non-girl). haha.

drifting a bit. i suddenly came to a realisation that i may be, to some extent, a control freak. a semi-perfectionist. and upon realising that, it wasnt a good feeling and i felt like crying. dont know why. cos its a sad realisation maybe.

i like things to be planned out. i like to know what im doing. and i absolutely need things to follow according to plan. i must. ok there are exceptions here and there where im open to no-plan plans. but sometimes im just not. and when im not i get semi-upset. complexity of the human mind.

and apart from being uptight, i think i really enjoy the occasional dose of romance. haha. face it. i am a girl after all. not just a girl girl, but a girly girl. if u dont realise that, then u probably dont know me too well. hehz. i can immerse myself fully in wonderful romantic movies and read libraries of romantic novels without a care for the world. haha perhaps cos then i would be in my element. so well sometimes, i would just love some full-blown romance injected into my own life. haha. oh dear. fairy-tale princess i think i am. so there is always this basic, unspoken, innate, inner requirement that special days should have a tinge of speciality. haha. sounds silly i know. but well yes. special days are not special if they're normal. right?  at times there are nothing more that i'd enjoy than a nice long talk about everything and anything. a heart-to-heart. or even a good long letter to read. it just leaves you feeling.. connected; emotionally. and if u already are emotionally connected, then it leaves you even more emotionally connected. so either way, it works. :)

ok. thats that pretty much some thoughts in this little head (that really ought to have gotten started on geography). moving on to idle chatter. i just decided that im gonna be a regular at hockey trainings. cant stay dormant forever. schools so far has not responded to my emails to apply for relief teaching. which is bad. and oh i realised another reason why i wanted to teach. cos of the hours. good hours. plus i get to go down to the unit during their trainings as well as join is hockey trgs. most pther jobs wont be too lucky i think.

and thats that for ramblings.

because i know he would read this. much loves. :) its been a good 2 years. really. *madschoolgirlgrin*

what do u do when there is someone u just cant stand??
like, really, really cant stand?

omg. i think i prefer her when she was all dorky.

ok world that was me being a bitch. til then.